Fear Mongering Over Bathrooms Needs to Stop!

I try really hard not to be political on this blog, and always try to see  both sides. However, the issue over transgender bathroom rights has hit a personal note with me recently. The fear mongering has hit epic proportions and it needs to stop now. This issue is getting out of hand and people are taking this to a new low. All over the internet, you see people being vile and simply in my opinion, disgusting. Examples are below.

The video above is a perfect example, of someone being vile, ignorant, hateful and a bigoted person. Also, a prime example of someone using religion to defend their indefensible actions. If our almighty god, did not want gays, lesbians, or even transgender people, why are we even here? A cruel joke? I think not. I think hiding behind your religion as your defense, is really despicable, because I known many people who are very religious and they are in no way hateful.

I like the above video, because someone actually takes a stance against his hateful actions.

Plain, and simple, this is nonsense, the fear is not real and unfounded. People who are going to do harm to another in a bathroom will do harm regardless of the sign on door or a retailer’s policy on transgender customers. Sexual Predators are going to be Sexual Predators regardless of anything else. They won’t need to dress up like a woman or “feel like woman” to commit their sick perverted actions. These sick people won’t need to “abuse” the policy because they never cared before. Also, let’s remember, that both men and Women can be Sexual Predators and they both have and will continue to commit sick acts even in their assigned bathrooms, that is a fact! For all the love in humanity, it’s just a bathroom.

The worst thing in this whole sad story, is that innocent people are being hurt, and harassed. Again, YouTube and Internet reports are surfacing that tells this story. An cisgender women in the Walmart bathroom was harassed, because she was mistaken for being transgender (Watch the video below).

Further, a father had to take his 5yo daughter to the bathroom in a Clinton City Utah Walmart, so he took her to the Mens Restroom, when another guy became upset with this and assaulted him. Source can be found here.

A woman in a Target’s Bathroom was peeped on by another woman, because she was afraid of her being transgender! Source to original story. This is ridiculous and the fear mongering needs to stop!!! The violence towards others needs to end. The best way to protect your safety is to be aware of your surroundings and report things that are off or suspicious. Don’t take the law into own hands, thinking you’re doing a public service, you’re not!

I know I’m sounding a little hot right now, but it’s only because of my recent personal experiences. I did not know, if this was something I should post or not, but here it goes. I was assaulted in a Public Men’s Bathroom, because I was too feminine. I had breasts, and men should not have breasts. I had nail polish on my fingernails and apparently that went against god. Luckily, my injuries weren’t too severed, my wounds will heal. However, my emotional state will take some time. I can’t go into a public men’s restroom any longer. I fear for the fact that I might have to use the bathroom in public. I now actively seek out stores that I know has single person bathrooms, so I can use them in peace without fearing my safety. Why should I fear the bathrooms, why should anyone fear a bathroom?

No matter your stance on this issue, lets stop the hate and fear mongering, because it leads us down a dangerous path where innocent people are being hurt. We are reasonable Adults, can’t we act like ones?

Review: Playtex 18-Hour Original, Style #4693

Time for another review from “The Bra Guy”…………..

This is not a typical bra I would buy for myself. However, I know a lot of guys especially with Gynecomastia, falls into the Large Band, and Small Cup category. This where you start trending uncharted waters, simply because there’s not a whole lot options out there. So, I wanted to review at least some of these options, so time and resources aren’t wasted, and people who need bras that comes in a wider variety of sizes, can make more informed choices. This Playtex Bra does come in different sizes that might be suitable for Men with Gynecomastia, the size range is from a 36B all the way up to a 48B with 50, 52, and 54 band starting at a C cup. Most of your color choices stop at 42, with only basic colors continuing from there.

Size and Fit:

The sizing of this bra feels true for the most part. The cups are gonna be the sticky point if you’re more shallow like I am. I’m usually a 38C, but ordered a 38B in this bra, because I heard that bra tends to be more projected. However, I still had some gapping, but not at the top where I usually experience the gapping, it was in the middle part where the nipple sits. Besides this fit issue, which was not a huge issue since the gap was minor in my case, the overall fit was fine. I felt the shoulder straps which were not fully adjustable could have been longer. However, the band I had no issues with, it was nice and snug on the first set of hooks, and overall I’m fairly pleased with the sizing and fit of the bra.

Design and Feel:

Although I might be spoiled with higher end brands, this bra did not really jump out at me. I did like some of their color choices, the Belles Rose is nice shade of Pink. Besides that, you’re only getting a basic no frills Full Coverage bra, which is not entirely a bad thing. The bra does come with Playtex’s Comfort Straps, which are wider and padded right where it meets at your shoulder. The straps, in my humble opinion, needed to have some padding, because the length was slightly too short. The materials and feel of this bra was on the cheaper end of the spectrum. I mostly disliked the fabric because it felt rubbery to me.

Comfort And Support:

My only major complaint with the comfort level of this bra was, because of the short straps. Although, it was partly made up for, by Playtex’s wonderful design of “Comfort Straps”. This design helped a lot in subsiding my complaint, because the straps did not dig in. I still felt, the bra would have been even more comfortable, if they were longer. Would the bra last for 18 hours of Comfort? Honestly, I think depends on various different factors, like if you’re taller than I am, the short straps might bother you more. However, at the end of the day, I felt no extreme discomfort from wearing this bra for 10-12 hours. I have to say, this is the most supportive wireless bra I’ve worn. I’m not a fan of non-wired bras, because they give you no support. Although with this bra, I found myself with no support issues and I was pleasantly surprised by this fact.

Overall Opinion:

I can mostly forgive the shortcomings of this bra, because other aspects can make up for the areas where it falls behind. The amazing support that this “wireless” bra can provide, could be a godsend for some, especially for Men with Gynecomastia. Also, the price can make up for some of the shortcomings, often times you can buy this bra for as little as $14.99. At that price point, there is value in this bra! I don’t know how well this bra will scale in the larger bands/smaller cups, but I think it’s worth a try. I’m still deciding if I will keep the bra, I might because it is a very supportive bra. However, it won’t be very high, in my rotation.


Facing the Truth

This article is not going to be about bras, so feel free to skip it, if so desired. This will be a very personal article that I hope you read with a open mind, and be understanding. I’ve been denying this part of me, for a very long time. However, life is too short, and I’m realizing this after some life mishaps (which I will not touch upon). I’m Bi-Gender. I know I’ve had some feminine traits which I’ve probably shown on this blog in the past. Although, I never have really accepted this part of me. I want to start accepting myself fully and integrate more femininity into my life. Some people will say showing any signs of femininity is showing weakness, and I know that is not true, because some of the strongest people I know are Women, just because you’re Male or Female does not show how strong or weak you are. As I look back upon things, maybe everything happens for a reason. I think my Gynecomastia has given me courage to accept myself and be more accepting of others.

What does this mean for my blog? Nothing. Nothing will change. I remain focused on being an advocate for gynecomastia sufferers. I still strongly believe that wearing a bra is a very viable option over the likes of surgery. I don’t want any of my readers to be scared that this blog will change, it won’t. I’m proud of my little blog, and I want to help everyone regardless of gender or reason to find their perfect bras. My blog has always been inclusive and will remain so.

I hope my readers and blogging friends won’t think less of me, and will continue on reading/supporting my blog as they have in the past. Great things will come to this blog, because I have some great supporters in my circle. Thanks for listening!

Share Your Experience: JohnnyD

A reader, “JohnnyD” wanted to share his experiences, so without further ado……..

I am a male and have been wearing bras since 1968. I have Klienfelters Syndrome (XXY). My breasts started to bud when I was 10. At that time my parents took me to see a doctor and I was diagnosed with KS. I have fully formed female breasts and am a D cup in the majority of bras on the market. In the beginning going to purchase a bra was an embarrassing experience but there was a real need to support the tissue that at that time was a full C cup. About two years after that an older woman who was an employee at the same company noticed my bra bra strap when my shirt opened up when I was bending to pick up a package. At lunch she approached me in the lunch room and asked me about it. I was so embarrassed I almost threw up. Rather than being judgmental she was really interested in the reason I was wearing the bra. We had several conversations over the next few weeks and stayed friends until her passing 23 years later. She pointed out that women wearing pants was a taboo when her mother was a young woman and really only became accepted when women went to work in the factories during WW2. I wish there had been a forum like yours back then. It was a pretty lonely situation in those days. Just like the women that went to work in the war industry, dresses would not be practical or safe around machinery. They did what they had to do. It’s the same with men and bras. Maybe one day people will be as accepting of men who need the support of a bra, or in some cases just want to wear one for reasons of their own. Remember guys, it’s the same principle as an athletic supporter. You wear them to stop whatever it is from flopping around.

Thanks for your comments, and thoughts. As always it’s much appreciated.

I have more articles in planning stages, please bear with me.

Poll: What is your Favorite Bra Brand?

You can let me know why or if you vote “Other/Not Listed”, you can specify your favorite brand in the comments section below.

Have Fun!

I’m ashamed of our Society!

I’m behind on a lot things regarding my blog, however, today I was catching up on some reading of my favorite lingerie bloggers. What I read is quite disturbing to me, and I encourage all my readers to read the three articles I have posted below. It’s shameful, that despite, growing everyday into a far more civilized society, we still can’t act like grown adults that cares and are respectful toward others.

A very short and brief summary of the articles, is that the lingerie bloggers has experienced harassment, that no women should. The sad thing is, their only crime is doing something they love and are passionate about, which is blogging about Lingerie. They have been sent rape threats, “dick pics”, and obscene messages. All, because they post pictures of themselves in Lingerie. For some reason, this society has WAY over sexualize lingerie, in the end, it’s just UNDERWEAR. I don’t know why we can’t allow people to feel empower about their clothes without it being some how tied to sex? I’m ashamed about how some in my gender will act. I know that not all men are like this, however, unless we speak out about this, we are just as guilty.

Although, I can’t identify with them in the same way, I can say I have been harassed just because of my blog, too. I was even told I was the scum of the earth, and should die. I even had women tell me that I was not normal and I was obsessing about bras too much. I just love amateur psychologists! So I know what harassment feels like and it’s no fun to be on that short end of the stick.

If any of these bloggers see my post, I encourage them to contact me. I will stand with them, because it’s a injustice that should not be tolerated. I want to be part of the solution and not part of the problem.

Articles that I read:

CurvyGirlThin: Plus size, naked, & fetishised

RollsAndCurves: The Consequences of Male Sexual Entitlement

TwoCakesOnAPlate: #NotForYourPleasure – Fighting against Rape Culture

Interview: Elisabeth Dale From TheBreastLife

As you know, I love to do interviews with other people, it brings such a fresh and dynamic perspective to my blog. I hope my readers enjoy the interviews as much as I do in writing for them. I think these interviews opens up my blog to other ideas and viewpoints, that can’t be done with one person. Anyways, I have rambled on enough, this time I have a big time celebrity on my hands. Without, further ado, I present to you Elisabeth Dale, a well known author in the lingerie circles.

Q: First off, Thanks for agreeing to do this interview, Why don’t introduce yourself to my readers?

I’m the founder of TheBreastLife.com and author of Boobs: A Guide to Your Girls, a humorous and informative book about breasts. I’m currently finishing up my second book, The Bra Zone: How to Find Your Ideal Size, Styles, and Support, which will be published this Spring. My website is a place where readers can find information on lingerie, breast health, and anything else having to do with breasts.

Q: When did you first learn about Gynecomastia? What were your first initial thoughts on this condition?

I learned about gynecomastia while I was researching my first book. I wasn’t at all surprised that men would have this condition. What was more surprising to me was the number of young men undergoing surgery to have breast reductions (versus the supposed number of young girls undergoing breast augmentations). Since my first book’s publication in 2007, I’ve seen a huge rise in cases, due in large part to gynecomastia as a side effect of many medications.

Q: Did you find it strange, the first time a guy asked for your advice on bra’s? What is the best advice you give to your male readers?

Nope. I think every man’s experience wearing a bra is unique — just like a woman’s. Let’s face it, breasts come in all shapes, sizes, and volumes. They’re more like moving targets on our chests, rarely staying the same over a person’s lifetime. With individual hormonal changes, it makes bra wearing unique for each person. I think the best advice I can give my male readers is that they are not alone. The number of men who comment on my blog posts on the subject make it clear that there is a large community dealing with this issue.

Q: Gynecomastia is on the rise, and although I don’t believe a market exist yet, do you believe in the future we might see lingerie brands consider options for Men?

I’m not sure. I think the industry is still very unaware that there are men out there that need and want to wear bras to contain breast flesh. There isn’t much of a distinction between men with gynecomastia, cross-dressers, or transwomen. They are lumped into the same category, which is a shame. I think there are certain retailers that are more sensitive to the issues that men with breasts face. I’ve seen more acceptance from boutique owners and on-line lingerie stores than I have from mainstream industry brands.

Q: My readers have asked me for suggestions on Swimwear for people with Gynecomastia. They need support and/or the need to minimize their bust while swimming. Since it’s very obvious that they don’t make swimwear for men which includes a built in bra, do you have any thoughts, ideas or suggestions?

One of the problem some men with gynecomastia have is that they are broader through the chest than the typical band size sold for women. It’s difficult for many women to find a band greater than 40 inches, for instances. The same problem is found in swimwear for breasts. This is where an innovative person could make a difference, in my opinion. For right now, the best bet is to shop the from retailers who offer full bust and plus size swimwear, like HerRoom and Swimsuits for All. Look for tankinis or bra sized swim tops. The good news is that you buy them as separates.

Q: What is your favorite bra? What is your favorite style/cut?

I wear more than one bra during the day. Usually I start out at the gym in a Chantelle sports bra. I’m madly in love with the the Prima Donna Madison, for those days when I’ll be running around all day. I’ve  been wearing an Empriente full bust bra that I quite like. I’m finding that as I age, and my breast tissue changes, that I appreciate the well-designed French labels. I’ve got an absolutely stunning Lise Charmel set (image attached) that makes me feel like a goddess when I wear it. I love to shop for new styles each seasons, but tend to gravitate toward cut-and-sewn demi and balcony styles as those seem to fit my particular body and breast shape best.